by Jonathan Danilowitz
It was 1976. David Goland was a career soldier, an officer in the IDF (Israel Defense Force). A university graduate, he worked as an engineer, designing parts for the Airforce Maintenance Department. Successful, well-liked, with a high security clearance, 24-year old David was a just starting out in his military career. Only one month in his new position it came crashing down. Without even a hearing he was thrown out of the army because ‘someone’ discovered that he was gay.
David, the product of a religious family (his father was a chazzan – A cantor), with yeshiva training and a fine education, was devastated. He saw his life in ruins, his family destroyed, his future bleak. After a few months he managed to get another job, again as a design engineer, working for the Israel desalination industry. Miserable, depressed and dissatisfied, he left Israel to visit relatives in Canada. He never came back (except for short visits). He did a Masters degree there, went to work for the Atomic Energy Commission of Canada, met his future spouse and settled down, first in Montreal and then in Toronto; Israel’s loss was Canada’s gain. And what a loss for Israel.
Swedish Ambassador’s reception.
‘The Times They Are a-Changin’
Things have changed. LGBTs (lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender) are an integral part of Israeli society. The IDF now embraces not only gay soldiers, but lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people as well. The only benchmarks are capability, capability and capability. Recently the military Attorney General – the highest ranking legal officer – came out of the closet. The former editor also a high ranking officer of “Ba’Machaneh”, the army’s monthly news magazine – was gay. We have openly LGBT Knesset (Israeli parliament) members, doctors, bank clerks, bus drivers, social workers, professors, lawyers, captains of industry, nurses – you name it.
We spoke to Shachar Grembeck, a young Israeli man who had his formative first three years of school in – Bloemfontein. Today Shachar lives in Tel Aviv with Roi, his partner of nearly 10 years, and their two sons. “Coming out of the dark cold and fearful closet was such a relief”, he says, adding: “I have many wonderful Bloemfontein memories; the warm and active Jewish community, the shul every Friday/Saturday and the Zionist spirit. And school there was so different; the discipline, the respect for our teachers, the timeliness. Those are characteristics that stand me in good stead to this day.” Shachar’s “real job” is as a start-up entrepreneur, currently focusing on artificial intelligence. His main volunteer interests lie in LGBT-Tech, an organization aimed at hi-tech community networking, promoting diversity in the workplace and supporting the wider LGBT community.
Shachar and Roi are one of the very many non-standard couples in Israel today, two-mom, two-dad and single-parent families; some married, some living as common-law spouses. Israel has dozens of LGBT support groups, ranging from groups for singles, for women, men, trans-genders, parents of gays, gay parents, children with gay parents, community outreach, gay immigrants, etc. etc. There are LGBT political forums, animal rights forums, human rights forums, industry-wide groups (gay teachers, gay lawyers ….). Several Israeli political parties have a niche for outreach to the LGBT community.
The former US ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro and his wife Julie were amazing in their open support for LGBT rights here and elsewhere. There have been several LGBT ambassadors to Israel, including at least three current ones, serving here with their spouses: Britain, Sweden and El Salvador (there are probably others). Israel’s Foreign Ministry has several LGBT persons serving here and abroad (where they are posted, with their spouses).
Although Israel is at the forefront of common-law spousal recognition, it is still in the dark ages as far as single-sex marriage is concerned. But even there things have changed. Single-sex couples who marry legally abroad are recognized by the Israeli Ministry of the Interior as married. Israel is advancing as far as single-sex couple adoptions and surrogate motherhood, but still has a way to go. Many of the changes in Israel civil law and community recognition were the results of lawsuits, many of which reached the Supreme Court.
“Gay Pride Week” begins in Israel in early June 2017. Tel Aviv will hold a massive pride parade and already the municipality has adorned flagpoles and street lights through the city with the rainbow flag – the symbol of LGBT pride. Pride week brings thousands of foreign tourists to Israel – a source of income for the country and the city.
To readers wondering what there is to be proud about: The real answer is: nothing, really. Being gay or lesbian is not an ‘achievement’ or a success; it’s a natural happening, by birth, genetics, upbringing, circumstances – all or none of the above. But being out and proud is an achievement. Being out and proud is the opposite of being ashamed and closeted. That, especially in past years, was a major achievement. And for readers wondering why I have written this article: no, I’m not a missionary trying to convert you (or your children). It’s just that I, a former South African (Krugersdorp, anyone?) have been blessed by having chosen to live in this amazing country and want the best for the entire community: gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, a-sexual, straight and whatever.
The writer, a former El Al flight attendant, sued the airline in 1986 when it refused to recognize his common-law spouse and provide him with the same rights as other employee’s spouses. The 6-year lawsuit dragged through 3 courts and ended when the Supreme Court awarded against the airline in what became the “El Al vs Danilowitz” precedent. He lives quiet life in Tel Aviv with his spouse of 38 years.
