I was there when the Temple was destroyed. Tisha B’Av is the day for the Jewish people to imagine what it would have been like to watch the destruction and feel the sorrow.
“How deserted lies the city, once so full of people! How like a widow is she, who once was great among the nations! She who was queen among the provinces has now become a slave.” Lamentations 1:1
These words of the Prophet Jeremiah are seared into the hearts and souls of the Jewish people. Every year on Tisha B’Av (the 9th day of the month of Av in the Jewish calendar) Jews observe a day of fasting and reflection and read the book of Lamentations in remembrance of the destruction of both the First and Second Temples. These two tragedies occurred on the same day in history 656 years apart. And for over 2,600 years Jews have relived, self-reflected and lamented over the sins of their people which brought about God’s willingness to see his Holy dwelling place and city destroyed.
Every year I sit on my front porch and read the book of Lamentations out loud. I sit before an audience of one, the LORD. I read the words with passion and place myself in the midst of the burning Temple. I see God’s handiwork go up in flames and my grief is beyond measure. My heart and soul are pierced with guilt as I listen to every word and take on the shame of my own sin. I realize I am partially to blame for God’s fury. I cry out in agony and ask forgiveness for my portion and on behalf of my people.
Remembering our past on Tisha B’Av can help us build a better tomorrow.
I continue to read and come to a verse of hope and not despair. I remember that when my children were young I shared this verse with them when they were going through hard times and they felt like things were hopeless. I am reminded that God loves me and I am comforted.
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:23-24
I cry out to God, “Please do not let me forget.” I don’t want to forget the loss of the Temples, or the tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people. I don’t want to forget my own tragedies, but somehow I seem to block out the memories that hurt me. I cannot remember my childhood. I cannot remember even the happy times. I struggle to remember my mother’s face. And yet, I remember the tiny form of the child that I aborted from my body when I was a young girl. Oh the pain of loss! Oh the grief of sin, how it eats at my soul. My own sin and the sin of my people…the agony is unbearable! And then I remember:
“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.” Lamentations 3:31-33
I stand amongst the ashes of a fallen Jerusalem and know that there is hope for the future. I will remember where I came from. I will remember the loss. I will forever remember the image of the flames, but will be thankful for the Refiner’s fire. I will repeat the stories to my children and my children’s children. We will sit on the floor on Tisha B’Av and read Lamentations and understand God’s great and unfailing love. It is a call to humility and repentance of a nation and of us individually. I must remember the loss in order to have hope for the future. When I finish reading the story, I will get up and go on.
I imagine that I am a bride waiting for her husband to return. He will rebuild His Holy Temple and invite me to come and be in His Shekhinah (holy dwelling place). I feel His presence as though He were with me all the time. I will remember to call out His name and He will hear me. I will remember those who came before me and told the stories and kept our people yearning for the time of restoration. And they said, “May the Temple be rebuilt speedily and in our days.”
When a Jewish couple gets married one of the greatest parts of the celebration is the breaking of the wine glass. Why do we do it? It is a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. It is a symbol to remind us of our painful past and the hope for a better future. And as soon as that glass breaks, the festivities begin; turning our grief into joy.
May each and every one of us realize that we are not as spiritually perfect as we imagine ourselves to be. 
We all need to take time to self-reflect on our attitudes and actions. To bring ourselves into correction and change course if needs be. If we can accept how far we have strayed and bring a change of course, we can also be assured that God will rescue us from the flames and rebuild the holy temple of our hearts. Recognizing our devastating loss and realizing that we have hit rock bottom shows us that we are far from whole. This is when the rebuilding can begin. As difficult and painful as it may be to do a spiritual accounting and confront reality head on, it will compel us to grow in our relationship with God, within ourselves and with each other. In this light, the element of joy is part of the Tisha B’Av experience too. May our sorrow turn into joy in pursuit of Godliness.
